![]() I was forced to face the impact of long-held silent suffering in a very real and physical way.Īs with any emotions, and grief is often cited as an example, you do not ‘get over’ the feeling of anger or hurt but learn to live with it or through it, learn from it and grow. ![]() I had suppressed the anger, bottled it up, tried to ignore my feelings in support of others, tried to ‘stay positive’ until I couldn’t cope any longer et voila the stroke took the decision for me. It’s possible it all boils down to ego at the end of the day – a bruised ego perhaps? In any case, I had been angry, angry for a very long time and was utterly exhausted by it all – at the limit, at the tipping point. But most of all angry, angry at my own stupidity. Hurt from disappointment or rather expectations not met, betrayal of trust, hurt at having my values trampled – my sense of right, fairness and compassion. I realised that I had been angry, which on closer inspection turned out to be mostly related to feeling hurt. I think it was both a form of release and a breaker, in the sense that my body had set up a kind of short circuit mechanism for whenever emotional stress started to elevate or become too intense.Ī lot of reflection went into my emotional fragility and the source of my suffering. For many months I was emotionally fragile. I couldn’t seem to stop the flow – tears escaped me at any excess of emotion whether happy, sad, or angry. Īfter my stroke, almost 2 years ago now, brought on by a stressful personal emotional event, I cried a lot. Frankl argued that all human beings at one point in their lives will encounter the tragic triad. These life meanings are analyzed using logotherapy’s existential analysis with the intent of assisting the patient overcome their existential crisis by discovering meaning or purpose in the experience. The concept of the tragic triad is used in identifying the life meanings of patients, or the relatives of patients, experiencing guilt, suffering or death. ![]() The tragic triad refers to three experiences which often lead to existential crisis, namely, guilt, suffering or death. The tragic triad is a term used in logotherapy, coined by Dr. Viktor Frankl. ![]() There are a few other interesting articles on this including these two from Rewriting the Rules and The Atlantic In fact, it’s resonated quite strongly with me after having worked in international development for many years in the area of resilience and refugee contexts. Reminded me of my granny of course! Dr Frankl who came up with the term and concept was a Holocaust survivor and comes with lived experience. I guess it’s about feeling your feelings, letting them out, acknowledging and respecting them and then picking yourself up and moving forward with meaning and purpose. According to the article, tragic optimism is the opposite of toxic positivity and is about owning your life story, not letting your story own you. Unfortunate name in my view but I quite like what’s behind it. I came across this article in Psychology Today about ‘tragic optimism’. Is there such a thing as positive positivity? Healthy positivity?Īnyway, got me thinking… and researching. Can’t go through life wallowing in self-pity. My granny was also of the school of if you fall down, have a good cry then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with it. I have to believe that whatever I’m going through will be temporary and everything will be ok in the end. As a rather more positive minded person, perhaps my North American upbringing, I feel not all positivity is toxic. ![]() So, while I totally agree that blind positivity, ignoring or repressing feelings, is utterly harmful to our mental health in the long run- toxic in fact – I find myself somewhat annoyed by the harping on about toxic positivity at the faintest whiff of any positive comment. My Scottish granny always used to say with a laugh, ‘better out than in!’ She was usually referring to farts but it extends to feelings as well. Why not just say that then? Seriously, how irritating! If you’re feeling angry, you don’t need a lecture on toxic positivity. I think she meant to be supportive, to say that it’s ok to have ‘negative’ feelings. Is it just me or does it feel like everyone is on the ‘stop the toxic positivity’ bandwagon at the moment? ok ok I agree that toxic positivity needs to stop but… It came up again the other day for me when a friend shared a post about feeling angry and someone posted a comment about how toxic positivity is on the rampage. ![]()
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